Why is letting go of people so hard and buying a new pair of shoes so easy? I know what you're asking yourself: what does one have to do with the other? Well….everything. I love shoes but not like I love people and why is that? Because shoes are shoes and people are people? WRONG!!!!
When you go through a break up one of the things you frequently get told is "everything happens for a reason" but straight up, that’s a lie. Its one of those beautiful lies that you want to believe to help make sense of the pain. In truth, not a God damn thing happens for any particular reason. Everything is random. To believe otherwise is optimistically naive. I do it as well. I tell myself the same thing but that’s the kind of post break up Hollywood babble that would make Tyler Durden pop a nerve in his forehead. If Tyler has taught me anything it's that none of us are beautiful unique snowflakes. We are all part of the same decaying organic matter. We are God's unwanted children; the middle children of history with no specific purpose. Yes, that’s extremely fukkin depressing. Thank you Tyler for making sense of a world that apparently makes no sense at all.
It’s hard to argue with Tyler's logic (especially if you've read the book). He makes complete sense. Believing that everything happens for a reason is believing in "the force". It's believing in something bigger than the tangible world. It's believing in Superman, Spiderman, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. It's believing that Osama is still alive in hiding somewhere in the Middle East and not in the C.I.A secret base getting golf balls tee'd off at his head by George W. Believing that everything happens for a reason is accepting Christ as your savior.
While all these things in their purest forms represent everything that is right with the world, we all know that it lacks one fundamental thing; logic. So again I ask, why is letting go of people so hard and buying new shoes so easy? Everyone loves shoes; even my most thugged out homeboys can discuss sneaker culture for hours. Anyone who says they don't have a shoe preference is a fukkin liar. If I gave someone a shit load of cash and said buy some new shoes, no one would hesitate to take the money. But if I said here is a wonderful new person, perfect in every way, now let go of the pain and love you have for your exes, a lot of people would not be able to do it. They might say they can but in reality it’s not so easy; at least not as easy as buying a new pair of sneakers. But why not? Nothing happens for a specific reason, right? None of us are beautiful unique snowflakes; we have no purpose, so why can't we just move on with no heart feelings? Why can't we just perform one random act the same as another? Why can't we find a new person to love as easy as we can buy a new pair of shoes?
I buy shoes quite frequently and so do most people I know. Every time I get my hands on a new pair of sneakers, I more often than not, wear it every chance I get. It becomes my new favorite pair of kicks. As lame as it sounds, I try to pick outfits that best suit those kicks. Hell, I even sport them with things that don't match the sneaks at all. I just love a new pairs of shoes that much. But never does the thought pass in my head that this will be the absolute last pair of sneakers I'll ever buy. As much as I love the shoes for the moment, I always concede in my mind that I will inevitably buy another pair of sneakers and love them just as much, if not more.
But the same can't be said for ex-lovers. Every mildly serious relationship that I've ever been in, I've truly believed in my heart that there was no other girl out there for me than who I was with currently. I believed she was my soul mate and we met for a reason. I believed that everything in my life has lead up to her and I getting together. I believed that all the bad breakups and all the heartaches of the past were for a reason; well at least till we break up and find someone new again. Silly huh? Don't front, all of us at one point or another have believed this ridiculousness. Some of us still believe it and have convinced ourselves that the person were with now is the "one". Yes, we were silly before but this time it’s for real. Ya right, Straight nonsense!!
I realize how cynical I sound right now and granted this will one day be used against me. I'll fall in love again and one of my friends will bring this blog up and say, "Lorenzo, you know you'll inevitably out grow this love like you said in that blog". And I'll respond by saying, "I was young then. I didn't know what I was talking about and so and so is really the "one" for me. They made me a believer." In a sense, I've created a self-professing paradox by writing this blog. But let me say this: right now I am being completely logical and for future reference, when I "fall in love again", bring this blog up because I won't be thinking straight then like I am at this very moment.
Shoes inevitably get worn out. Shoes become out of style. Shoes will end up in the back of your closet. You will find a new pair of shoes that will replace your old ones. You will have another pair of favorite sneakers that you will absolutely have to wear with every outfit in your closet. Even when the outfit doesn't match the shoes, you will make it work. You will fall in love. You will inevitably fall out of that love. You will cry like you've never cried before. Your heart will break time and time again. You will write silly poems and blogs professing your undying love for that person. You will write drunken late night emails while listening to Cold play telling them this. You will eat Cheetoes for three months straight while watching Sleepless in Seattle over and over again(ok maybe that one is just me). This is not a theory. These are the facts of life. This is the reality of love and shoes.